Pokemon Fiction: Chapter 1
by tghk3
Summary: This is the first chapter of my pokemon fanfiction story.


Pokemon Chapter 1: The First Badge

Ash and Misty were wandering though the Viridian Forest one morning. It had been the 7th month they spent in the maze of a forest and Ash was getting frisky again. He departed from Misty and Pikachu to go find a nice tree to masturbate to. Misty and Pikachu were asleep when Ash had snuck off in a makeshift camp made out of toilet paper Ash stole from a public restroom back in Viridian City. Misty awoke and was surprised to see Ash has disappeared because he usually tried to keep Misty in sight, which is why he had locked a dog leash around Misty's neck and fed her the key. Ash had stapled the handle of the leash to his wrist but he must have ripped it off to go out on his own again. Misty and Ash were bound to each other in a most unusual way.

When Ash and Pikachu had just entered the forest, they immediately came to a lake were they found Misty inside of a car that had recently been driven into the lake and was quickly sinking. Ash, wanting to save Misty, ordered Pikachu to electrocute the lake, to no avail. Instead, a dead hooker's body rose to the surface of the water. Ash then forced the nearest bug catcher at gunpoint to go and save Misty. The bug catcher successfully did so but died in the process, when, after breaking a window to let Misty swim through, he was skinned by the shards of glass. When Misty had swum to the shore of the lake, she thanked Ash for rescuing her. Due to Ash's horrible far-sightedness and Misty missing most of her teeth, Ash mistook her for a wild Pokemon and threw stones at her to try and catch her. Misty, frightened out of her mind, immediately shit her pants. Ash put his glasses on and found a beaten, sobbing, smelly Misty lying on the ground. He then removed a leash from his neck that his mother originally forced him to wear since he was 5 and stapled the handle of the leash to his wrist. He locked the other end of the leash around Misty's neck and shoved the key down her throat. Minutes later, Ash realized Misty was not in fact, a Pokemon but was a girl about his age. He forced her to apologize and told her she had to be their guide out of the forest to atone for her sins. From that day forward, Ash, Misty, and Pikachu survived on Misty's urine and dead pokemon's remains.

Ash began to grow a fetish for tree bark and started rubbing his dick in front of trees while chewing on the bark. Misty now looked around to see if she could find Ash. "Ass, wea ah you?" shouted misty, who, again, was missing many of her teeth.

"Ha you see ass, Pikashu?" asked Misty. "Pikashu?" repeated Misty. She lifted her arm to see Pikachu gnawing on her elbow again. Pikachu had been chewing on it all night and by now you could see the bone. "Oh, you!" said Misty joyfully.

Misty was trying to look for her clothes but then remembered Ash forced her to wear nothing except her booty shorts, which were still filled with shit. The shit had dried some time within the 7 months they spent in the forest and Ash kept making fun of the shit-flakes that constantly fell from Misty's shorts, jeering that she had "ass dandruff". She picked up some of the dingleberries off the ground and ate them for breakfast. Pikachu was already full with human flesh so the two moved on to look for Ash. They eventually found Ash snorting cut-up lines of tree bark through a plastic straw on the ground. His nose was bleeding profusely.

"Whadda you two want?" asked Ash after finishing up his tree bark. "Oh wee weh jus looking fo you!" answered Misty. Ash did not trust Misty for whatever reason and punched her in the face. "ARE YOU LYING TO ME?" WHAT ARE YOUR REAL PLANS? YOU WANT THE STUFF FOR YOURSELF DON'T YOU, YOU STUPID WHORE!" screamed Ash from the top of his lungs. Ash got very delusional whenever he snorted tree bark. It was like he had become a whole new person when he was like this. He fidgeted a whole lot and couldn't keep his eyes fixed on one thing for more than half a second. "Is okay, Ass!" cried Misty, "I wasn' goina seal any of your supply. Here, have some breakfast." She handed him a handful of dried shit, which he ate happily, changing his attitude. After Ash at his breakfast he collected a bunch of the tree bark and put it in a little plastic baggie. He smacked Misty with it and told her to never look at it.

"So, gang, we need a new plan to get out of this forest." Ash suggested as the group sat in a circle. "Well, we could keep walking in one direction and see where that takes us!" Misty added. "Yeah right, that's fucking stupid. We should just keep following those trees with the blue markings on them, they have to be the way out, i just know it!" said Ash. The fact of the matter was that those blue markers on some of the trees were actually the work of Ash, himself, who marked those trees so that they could follow them back into the city if they were to ever get lost about 7 months ago. After Ash had to eat their blue sharpie marker because of starvation within the 3rd week, the group forgot about ever marking the trees. They had been walking in circles ever since. And because Ash said so, they continued to walk unknowingly walk in circles.

After five minutes or so Ash screamed "Your going the wrong way!" but then continued to walk in their set direction like normal. Ash often forgot things at random intervals, which is believed by Misty to be a side affect of the tree bark. Ash, however, denied this, and stated it was only because he hadn't seen a good pair of titties lately, commenting that Misty was "flat as a board". Misty did not know what Ash meant by this, so to please him she strapped raw meat to her legs. To be honest, Ash didn't know what this meant either. Meanwhile, while Ash and the gang took a break to climb a tree, two people watched them from behind nearby bushes.

They were members of the infamous Team Rocket, who were known to pick on ten year olds and trying to take over the world by training Pokemon to slaughter humans. One was a man and the other an indistinguishable sex. You see, the man, James, was permanently attached by the torso to his conjoined twin, Jesse, who was unable to speak. Most of the time, Jesse's mouth was wide open and usually had a confused stare on her face. Her vocabulary consisted of low growls and barks, similar to that of a dog. James also kept with him a taxidermy cat he used to have as a pet when he was a kid. He accidentally killed it when he mistook it for a plate of frozen chicken nuggets and cooked it in the microwave for ten minutes. All of the screaming started to bother him but it stopped at around the 7 minute mark. When he took his cat out of the microwave it was burnt black and charred. James took his plate of cat to the table and cut off a chunk of it's leg and ate it, immediately spitting it out and yelling "Hey! This isn't chicken nuggets...oh shit!" James realized at last what he had done. Scared out of his mind, James ran out of his house in his pajamas holding his cat and did the only thing he could think to do, he ran to the nearest taxidermist, which was 16 miles from his house, and had his cat stuffed. He named his cat Meowth, but soon forgot this and called it Julia. From this point forward, James dedicated himself to a life of crime.

Anyway, James was looking at the group climb the tree through a pair of binoculars. He stayed close under the trunk of the tree so that he could catch a small ration of dried shit that fell from Misty's shorts. While he was eating, he began to formulate a plan he and Jesse had been thinking about for the past two days. "Alright, Jess, I think it's time we got our hands on that rare Pokemon the Ash boy has been traveling with for some time now. It would be very valuable to Team Rocket's cause because of this delicious substance it secretes from it's shorts. With this creature on our side, Team Rocket members will never have to worry about dying of starvation ever again!"

"grrrrrrrrr" answered Jessie as she drooled on her cleavage. James sat for a minute and decided what to do. He jumped from the bushes and drew out a pokeball.

"Hello, Ash! I, James of Team Rocket, along with my partner, Jesse, have been following you for some time! I've come for your rare Pokemon! Now you can either hand it over, or die!"

This announcement frightened misty, which fell out of the tree and smacked right into the ground, breaking her spine and paralyzing her. Ash, who had just realized what was going on, stuffed Pikachu into his jeans. "You'll never take my Pikachu!" yelled Ash from the top of the tree. James ignored this comment and headed for Misty with a duffle bag that smelled of semen. Misty immediately got up and began to run away from James. Ash didn't want to have to eat Pikachu so he pursued Misty as well, hoping to have some more of her chocolate delight. James, who was a few paces behind Misty, threw his pokeball and called out his Wheezing. He ordered it to use smokescreen, so it breathed large amounts of smoke into the air, which shot towards Misty and lingered on to catch Ash. Misty, barely able to see, ran straight into a solid brick wall, fracturing her skull and knocking her unconscious. James cleared some of the smoke of the surrounding area away and got out his duffle bag again. Ash, who had just caught up, ripped Pikachu out of his jeans, which he was surprised to see had Ash's unattached scrotum in his mouth. He ordered Pikachu to electrocute the wheezing. The wheezing died.

End of Chapter one.


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